Thursday, May 13, 2010

I have a lot a lot a lot I want to get out, and I've thought about it all day, and as soon as I sit down I just lose the urge. So strange.

I've been in a weird mood Spiritually for the majority of the past few weeks. God is definitely showing me a lot of things about Him, how He is, His Characteristics. Not only that, He's been showing me a lot of things causing conviction - every time I pass someone walking down the street and don't stop, I spend the rest of the day trying (and failing) to justify not stopping to see if I can help.
I felt so hard hearted tonight - I did not want to be around anyone at Austin's, and I'm honestly glad Reba pulled me aside to talk, because I really just didn't want to be around everyone. As strange as it sounds, I just didn't want to laugh and carry on and be in a good mood. It seems to me I'm going through another spell where God doesn't want me to rely on all my friends, but rather on Him, and what He's doing in me.
It hurts. And it sucks. And it's so hard. I swear, if the good is as extreme as the bad in this, the outcome is just going to be...out of this world amazing.

I left Chapel early to take Andrew home, and didn't want to go back, so I didn't. It was really nice to just plug in my iPod and catch up on my Andy Stanley podcasts, and just spend time....alone. Really, really nice.

I'm taking drastic measures to overcome this problem I've been having with lust, and if they don't work, I'm done with technology until this problem is solved.

Monday, May 3, 2010

The following things were prayed over / revealed /prophesied while hands were laid on me concerning my sister tonight at Chapel:
- God showed Reba a cool, slow flowing stream. She saw my sister Ashley laying in it, moving her arms and legs, enjoying it, and just laughing and being joyful. She saw Jesus standing on the banks pointing, saying "That's my daughter. I love her so much!"

-God showed Austin the passage talking about candles and putting baskets over them, and Josh was revealed to see those baskets coming at me, and me setting them on fire with my candle. And Reba saw the devil bringing doubts, and negative things being brought against me, "baskets," and they said I will just set them on fire on move on. And it will be a nice warm fire, and finally everyone will want to be around it.

-Austin prophesied that my Father would identify himself moreso as a Christian, than as a Methodist, and that a spirit of Methodism would not hinder him, and he would completely embrace Jesus, and not worry about denominations and whatnot, and just focus on being a Christian.

-Josh and Austin both were revealed that my family was lacking in unity, and love, and that this entire situation would bring us closer together. That once we came together as a unified family in love, that we would truly start to conquer whatever is attacking my sister.

-Austin prophesied of a bold spirit man. That upon entering the house, I would just BEAT my chest in faith. That I would be so faithful, and so filled with faith I would KNOW that healing would happen, and it would help bring faith to other members of my family. And that I will and should pray every single time before I enter my house, whether anyone's home or not, and just pray to be bold and empowered in my faith. He also felt that God was telling him this entire situation was a testing of faith, whether it was me, another family member, or my family as a whole. That this was being used by God to really bring about true faith in my family.

-Josh proclaimed that we should stop carrying this burden, and that we should carry Jesus'. it's easy, and its so much less and so much easier to carry than the burdens we were trying to carry.

-Austin prophesied that I will say things that I won't meant to say, and in hindsight I'll think "Why did I say that?" BUT that those words in question will lift others up, and give them faith, and hope, and will edify them and bless them - and I personally know these words will be God's speaking, not mine.

-Josh spoke that God revealed to him that one day Ashley will wake up and she'll go "Guys, GUYS! It doesn't hurt anymore!"

And I saw it. I saw it in my mind. I saw the vision God gave him. And it's going to happen. I KNOW it will. and I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait to see my sister walk, and jump, and use her arms, and lift things, and be joyful and happy and merry and not hurt anymore.

It's going to happen.